Vanquishing Virginity

a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
maiden, unmarried girl, maid, vestal virgin, chaste woman, celibate

being, relating to, or appropriate for a virgin.
chaste, virginal, celibate, abstinent, self-restrained, self-denying; not yet used, exploited, or processed.
untouched, unspoilt, untainted, untarnished, unadulterated, pure, immaculate, pristine, flawless;

Virginity Test

I wanna know what dude way back when decided female “virginity” and its “loss” was a real thing? And that is was his to “take”.

I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is.
— Rachel Maguire

We all live in cultures that value female virginity to one extent or another. Tragically in much of the world a girls virginity still has a very real social and/or monetary value.

For much of history a woman’s sexuality was the property of first her God, then her father, brother, and finally her husband.  
Because virginity is a man made social construct it would have no any value if men weren’t so paranoid about paternity, being “first” and of course “honour”.

Security is like virginity: you’re either a virgin or you’re not. You either have security or you don’t.
— Lennart Meri


  1. There is no verifiable scientific proof of virginity “loss” yet once it’s “gone” a girl/woman is, in many societies no longer considered “whole”.

  2. Sexual intercourse - unless forced - has no effect on character, ability, ethics, personality or morals.

  3. A woman’s morality is not in her vagina, mouth or anus.

  4. In many societies a woman's marriage options are directly dependent on whether or not she has a hymen.

  5. Female virginity is closely interwoven with personal honor and even more importantly family honor, especially in cultures known as shame societies

  6. Female virginity is regarded as more significant than male virginity; the perception that sexual prowess is fundamental to masculinity has lowered the expectation of male virginity without lowering the social status.

  7. Men are shamed for being virgins

  8. Women are lauded for being virgins.

Traditionally heteronormative virginity is only lost/taken by penile penetration into the vagina whether it be consensual or not. Engagement in oral sex, mutual masterbation, anal sex are not typically believed to affect an individual's’ status as a  virgin.  A heterosexual who has only participated in these acts is usually regarded as “technically a virgin”. But this is nuts because lesbian couples who engage in cunilingus are generally consided to have “had” sex and the same goes for gay couples.

In “How To Lose Your Virginity” filmmaker Therese Shechter digs deep into the subject of virginity culture and documents a deeply disturbing phenomenon that is, if not destroying, then certainly negatively affecting the lives of women and girls all over the world.

It is undisputable that the more a culture values female virginity is directly proportionate to the severity of how it oppresses women. This is not because they want to keep women safe. What men are really “protecting” is their family honor. This where “honour killings” come in. The hymen is so valued and it’s lack thereof so often life threatening that some women choose or a forced to have their hymens “restored” even if they never had one or ruptured it on a seesaw.

Do not look intently at a virgin, lest you stumble and incur penalties for her.
— Sirach 9:5

It’s time to vanquish virginity once and for all. But how…..


Article by Anna Quick-Palmer